It's only days before The Big Day (AKA Christmas).
In my “Still-haven’t-figured-out-what-to-get-Bill” panicked state of mind, I read the following bit by my friend Lisa Earle McLeod and howled!
I think I’m in stage 4 – Bargaining – on what to get for the love of my life, other than the love of my life.
If you’re all ready for The Big Day and not sweating a drop, then stop reading right now and go on to the next e-mail. Or better yet, can you do some shopping for me?
If you need a good laugh to resurrect your holiday sanity, read on…
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THE FIVE STAGES OF HOLIDAY GRIEF
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By Lisa Earle McLeod
www.forgetperfect.com
Where are you in the countdown?
DENIAL:
This year it will be different. I'll get the cards in the mail over Thanksgiving. My husband will help with the decorating. I'll buy all my gifts online in time for early shipping, and baking will be fun because the kids are going to help.
ANGER:
Since when am I responsible for everybody else's Christmas? Half these people don't even send us a card back, and if my husband doesn't get off the couch to help put up this tree I'm going to scream. I can't believe those bloody PTA moms had the nerve to ask me to send in "three home-baked pies" for the teachers. Don't these women have anything else to do? I hope nobody expects me to clean up all this glitter.
DEPRESSION:
This holiday has lost all meaning - I don't know why I even bother. I bet he doesn't even know what we're getting his mother. What have I done to make my children so greedy? I've probably put on 10 pounds already. Nobody in this family even asked me what I want.
BARGAINING:
If I get the gifts bought by the 22nd, maybe I won't have to pay overnight shipping. I'll put some Slice 'N Bakes on a pretty dish and it will look like I was baking. A personal phone call means more than a card to my real friends. If I stuff myself into a body-squeezing undergarment maybe I can still get into my black dress. I'll drink one glass of mineral water for every glass of Chardonnay.
ACCEPTANCE:
I'm a tired, broke, fat woman who did the best she could. Maybe next year will be different.
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Lisa Earle McLeod is a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist and the author of "Forget Perfect" and "Finding Grace When You Can't Even Find Clean Underwear."
For free chapters of "Finding Grace When You Can't Even Find Clean Underwear" go here:
http://www.forgetperfect.com/books/fg_excerpts.htm
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